There’s a fairly good chance our son’s birthday will be February 8th. We are scheduled to begin an induction at the hospital Monday morning, and unless Labor and Delivery is full and tells us not to come, he’ll be born tomorrow. I suppose there’s also the possibility that the induction will take so long that he doesn’t actually arrive until Tuesday the ninth, but I’m not going to dwell on that option.
Deciding what to do was difficult. We see a wonderful doctor/midwife team and plan to deliver with the midwife, who believes in patient-directed birth. She was willing to induce us on our time frame and also willing to wait with us for as long as we wanted (within reason). At our appointment last week we talked about inducing and the various methods we could try. I was induced at 41 weeks with Skylar using a drug called Cytotech. It was only supposed to prep my cervix, but it sent me immediately into a crazy-fast labor. The fast part was good; the crazy part was scary. None of us knows if my body is one that would naturally have quick labor or if the drug hyperstimulated my uterus, which is a rare, but very possible side-effect of Cytotech. In extreme cases Cytotech can even cause the uterus to rupture. So this time around the midwife is recommending Pitocin, since its effects on the body are more easily controlled.
Of course what I really want is to go into labor on my own, and I know I could wait longer than 41 weeks to see if that would happen. But there is a question in my mind as to whether my body would go into labor at all without something to stimulate it. I realize that probably sounds like an irrational, pregnant woman’s delusion, but one of my fertility issues is in my hypothalamus, which triggers both ovulation and the start of labor. I have ovulated several times in the past few years (obviously), but my hypothalamus still doesn’t function regularly. If I decided to hold out until 42 weeks or beyond, I can’t help but wonder if I’d still need to be induced, and just the thought of that is discouraging at this point.
Last week, as the days ticked by and Adam and I tried to figure out what to do, I knew we needed help. I decided to talk to my sister-in-law Aron, who’s currently in school on her way to becoming a midwife. After she said hello I said, “Aron-I’m-so-confused!” and then dumped out a zillion concerns and questions in one big breath. “Well, let’s stop and think this through,” she said calmly, and I knew I’d called the right person. Aron used to work as a doula and she loves to see women empowered through the birth experience, especially when they do it without drugs and out of the hospital setting. But Aron knows that giving birth in a hospital is a must for Adam and me, and she’s never tried to convince us otherwise. I know Aron would take a completely different approach if she found herself in my position, but instead of trying push her opinion on me, she simply answered my questions and helped me think logically about what I want from this labor and birth experience. At the end of the conversation she said, “What’s most important is that you and Adam pray together and make the decision you feel is best for you and this particular baby. Don’t do what you think the midwife wants or what I want or what anyone else wants. Do what you feel is best.”
The next day, after talking with the midwife again and praying through our options, Adam and I decided to be induced on Monday morning using Pitocin. I realize that Pitocin and epidurals typically go hand in hand, which will probably mean a much different birth experience than I had the first time. But maybe that’s not such a bad thing. I’m also aware that birth is unpredictable. I’d thought my first induction would take at least a full day, but it was lightening fast. I don’t know what Monday will be like, but as the weekend slips by I’m getting more and more excited at the thought of meeting our baby. A weight was lifted once we made our decision to be induced.
As Adam and I talked about it the other night he said, “I know the birth experience is really important and I don’t want to minimize it. I would support whatever you wanted to do. But the way I see it, birth is like a wedding. It’s a big deal and a lot of preparing goes into it. You have a picture in your head of what you want and you try to make that happen. But in the end, the wedding isn’t everything. It’s the marriage that matters. I want the birth to go well and be full of good memories. But what I want more than that is a healthy wife and a healthy son.” I like the idea of natural childbirth, but I’m grateful for modern medicine too and the options it has to offer. I’m also thankful beyond words for my amazing friend and sister-in-law Aron, who selflessly and consistently supports and loves her family. Aron, you are going to make a wonderful midwife.
I’m not sure how well I’ll sleep tonight with all that awaits me this week. I have no idea what tomorrow will hold. But I do know this: God has been especially good to me, and I can’t wait to share with you what happens.
wonderfully overwhelming thing. Micah is eight days old and over the past week I’ve had moments of bliss – watching him sleep in my arms – and moments of panic – watching him scream in my arms while Sky tries to climb up my legs. I am so in love with my children. At the same time, I wonder how well I’ll cope with both kids at home when there’s no one else around to help. But I actually know the answer to that: I’ll deal with it one day at a time, one hour at a time. So for now I’m doing my best not to think about tomorrow at all. Today my mom and sisters are here, and they’re staying for a while. This morning I came out from the bedroom after putting Micah down for a nap and found Sky sitting on the floor with my sisters, reading magazines and chattering away. The house was full of sunlight. I sat down at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee and my mom and found myself thinking that I wouldn’t change a single thing about this day. Besides add in a bit more sleep, that is.
