Drugs December 14, 2009
Should I get an epidural? I woke up today and realized that I’m 33 weeks pregnant, which is probably about time to start thinking about the whole labor and delivery process. During my first pregnancy I decided I really wanted a natural childbirth. Then somewhere around seven centimeters dilation, I changed my mind and decided that yes, definitely yes, I needed that epidural. By that point though, it was too late. I didn’t realize it in the moment, but I was actually almost done with labor. So in the end I did have Sky epidural-free, and I’m glad for that because it’s what I’d originally wanted. I’m just not sure I want to do it again.
Becoming a mother is one of the best things that’s ever happened to me. But the birth experience was nothing like I’d expected. I’d heard over and over about the rush of hormones you get after natural childbirth and how you forget what you’ve just endured physically once your baby is placed in your arms. That didn’t happen for me. When I look back at the birth experience, the main thing I remember is the pain (the PAIN) and how I was shaking so much afterward I didn’t feel like I should hold my child at all for a while. Even though I’d prayed for little Skylar Grace more than I’ve prayed for anything in my life, I didn’t feel instantly bonded to her.
I realize though, that every birth experience is different. Sky was posterior as she came down the birth canal and hopefully this baby won’t be. Maybe I should give natural birth another try. I have a much better idea of what to expect now, and maybe an epidural wouldn’t solve any problems; maybe it would actually create some new ones. Or maybe it would be wonderful. Maybe I would be more mentally present without the intense pain and more aware in the moment of how incredible it is to see a new life (our son!) enter the world.
I’m blessed to know many women with all different ideas about birth and babies and motherhood. What do you think? I’d love to hear your thoughts…
Mom – the belly shot is for you.
I’m so excited for you guys! I can’t wait till that beautiful boy is born and Biff and I can fly down to see him
Your belly is large and in charge and absolutely stunning! I love you.
Look how cute you are!!!
I’m a big fan of the epidural. It allows you to enjoy the birth. But, I’m also a wimp that couldn’t endure natural childbirth.
I think it depends on if you’d rather enjoy that moment more or if it would make you happier knowing that you were able to do it naturally.
No matter what you decide, you can’t go wrong because you get your precious little guy either way!
Dear Linnea,
I wrote a massive comment but decided to start over with only the basics.
First, each one was completely different. Just when I thought, OK, I know how to do this, circumstances would change.
I took the Bradley method childbirth classes with cliff notes of a few others. Here are the results:
Caroline – C-section late in labor due to toxemia/stroke risk. At least I was awake and joining in the excitement! (My childbirth instructor made me feel like a failure!)
Andrew – epidural saved having a second C-section because he was 11 pounds and I was pushing before I was fully dilated. With the epidural I was able to relax and let nature take it’s course.
Margaret – third to be induced, epidural given BEFORE they realized I was already at 10 and could have skipped it…Grrrrrr
Robert – The only one that was completely natural. The only one without pitocin or even an IV
John – tried a gimmick they called TENS, sort of sent vibrations up your back when you pressed the button to “mask” the labor pains naturally. Garbage!
Pitocin and a slow start but no epidural. Ended well.
Jennifer – made it to 10 (with pitocin) but for the first time I had trouble with the pushing stage. Pushed for two hours and was getting tired and discouraged. I asked the staff to give us a couple minutes alone. We prayed, I stood by the bed and delivered part-way before the Dr. came back in! But…she did not breathe for four minutes. (They said the long pushing was stressful on her, too) The longest four minutes of my life! The intensive care staff was there in a flash and they were able to get her breathing before damage was done. They told me she could go about 7 min before damage. She is 11 yrs. old now and perfect as can be. If I had had an epidural I wouldn’t have been able to change position and probably couldn’t have delivered her myself. But because of her position I wasn’t a great candidate for a C-section.
Each time I learned something different, about childbirth and about my need to ask God for His guidance. I couldn’t have delivered Andrew WITHOUT an epidural but I couldn’t have delivered Jennifer WITH an epidural. (I never asked God about #3 which is when they gave me an epidural too late. I just WANTED it going into it and never stopped to ask God.) So, as usual, the answer is, “Do what you feel God is telling you to do (with your husband’s agreement). But don’t let fear be the deciding factor. It will be easier the second time, but they don’t call it labor for nothing!
PS Shaking after delivery was standard for me. They piled hot blankets on me and that was heavenly. They just laid the baby on my stomach at first and then after being checked and weighed (the baby, not me!) they put the baby beside me so I could nurse. I didn’t have to worry about dropping anyone that way
It is hard work and I will pray for you. You are strong and you come from good stock! You will do well, whatever you decide. God bless you and your wonderful family as you bring this precious new life into the world!
With much love,
Barbara
It still ended up being a massive comment! Sorry. I guess we women need to talk about our deliveries!
Linni – when I had Terry and Ken, they gave me a ‘gas’ -it was called….a mask I put to my face when I couldn’t bear the pain so I took a deep breath and it put me in the ‘twilight’ zone….I could still work with them, felt the pressure, just not so much pain. I believe it was called “Trialene” (sp?)….I was awake with Terry, but in la la land with Ken…Russ, totally out of it. Ask your doctor if there isn’t someting like that now. There were no aftereffects with this ‘gas’ and soon as the babies were out…I was aware of everything going on.
Your uterus and muscles have already been stretched from Skylar…and because this baby is close in time to her….you MAY,,,have a quick delivery….and no problem at all. You could have a dozen, sweetheart, and each experience will be different (so I’ve been told)…and..mine were.
I would say..’don’t be anxious about it..inquire of the Lord what He would have you do…and know that He has YOUR best interest at heart.” Trust Him, Linni, He’ll NEVER give you bad advice. He’ll be right there through it all….and your little bundle of joy will get here on time, healthy, beautiful and ready to meet his new family; miracle #2 is on the way. The uncles and I will be in prayer for you to have a speedy, comfortable delivery and peace in your soul about it all.
You are not any different than any other ‘new’ mom; certain instincts are born into us….but babies don’t come with ‘instructions’…just innocent demands of cries “I’m hungry, wet, uncomfortable, need cuddling, etc” …so we learn as we go…listening to the older women and using our own best judgment for what to do in each situation that arises….and the circumstances surrounding it. The best news is…you and Adam DO HAVE JESUS in your hearts, good foundational upbringing, Godly grandparents/greatgrandparents….kiss that miracle darling..you’re a good mommy!
One question/statement I’ve used many many times; “Lord Jesus…I need your help and I need it right now”…He is ALWAYS there.
“Our soul waiteth for the Lord; He is our help and our shield. For our heart shall rejoice in Him, because we have trusted in His holy name” Ps.33:2021
A lot of long comments here…. I got the epidural after a long night of pain having Julia. That felt heavenly! With Adam everything went quicker but I did get the epidural as soon as I got to the hospital, thanks to my best friend Ingerid who is a doctor in that field at that hospital. She simply called her friends on call and told them to give me whatever I wanted….She knows my temper….and the date 9/11 -01 was also a pretty special circumstance. You look great in front of the tree! Take care!
What a lovely photo of you in front of the tree
I had a natural birth with Nick and am planning on the same with the twins. Mainly though, this is because I have a phobia of needles! If I didn’t I think I might have gone for the epidural, but I just can’t stand the idea of it!!
We will pray for you to make the right decision for you and for your little boy. How exciting that it isn’t much longer to go
Love from us all x x
You can totally do it Mama! Moses was posterior until he was crowning and yes, it is way more painful! You’ll do great
You feel more at ease and aware of what your body is doing the second time around. Get a Doula, they are awesome!
it reminds me of how you said you felt after being baptized. not the “normal” feelings. i don’t feel normal either.
I second Barbara and Brandi! Some great advice today. Trust God to give you exactly the wisdom and strength you will need for THIS birth – it’s not going to be the same as Sky’s. Just think of it! You made it through a wild first birth with a posterior babe (more painful that way) while dealing with anxiety over being induced and with contractions made considerably more forceful by Cervadil (stronger than normal contractions are a not-frequent but not-rare side effect of Cervadil). And you did all that and still managed to do it without an epidural! You did amazing! There is no reason to think this next babe will have the same sort of scenario. If he’s posterior there are things we can do to encourage him to turn even in labor. There’s no reason to anticipate you needing to be induced at this point, so you likely won’t need the Cervadil either. One of the nice things about second births after a first unmedicated one is that your body was given a good chance to establish the proper balance of hormones in your brain chemistry needed for an effective labor so this time is likely to be very different. You can do it! Keep upright and active (stay out of the bed! they can moniter you standing up or in a rocking chair) and try getting in the shower (sit on your exercise ball in the shower or on a little stool) once they’ve done their mandatory 15 minute strip. I’m praying for you and know that God will help you do whatever is needed for THIS baby if you listen to his voice and not to the voice of fear. You can do all things through him who gives you strength.
…and you can call me, even if it’s 2am and you’re 9.5 cm!
Well, Adam can since you’ll probably be preoccupied.
Love you!
Aron
Wow, you guys are amazing! I loved reading all the comments and all of a sudden I’m feeling more excited about this birth. Thanks!
You are blessed with praying friends, Linni. Your times are in God’s hands, as are Baby Boy’s. Remember what Mary told me when I was about to have Nelson: “Labor isn’t my choice for a fun afternoon, but when its over, you will have accomplished something really good.” You and our grandson look adorable in the picture. Pregnancy becomes you!
GET IT!!!!!!!
Of course, I have no children, but any option you have to be pain free, I say take it! Seriously though…L, there is no “normal”. People these days seem to put so much emphasis on having a positive birth experience. Of course, that would be ideal, but that’s like saying I’d like to have a positive appendectomy experience. We’d all like that, but it’s a natural process and very unpredictable (no matter what anyone tells you). Some go wonderfully, others are more difficult. Remember your mom talking about Weez’s delivery being so…I believe the word she used was “violent”? YIKES! Don’t feel like you have to be brave or deal with the pain for an ideal of something. Epidurals are super routine, so if it’s horrible, get it! If you REALLY want to go natural again, hang in there and go for it. It seems when the pain is the worst, it’s almost over. But who knows what’s “worst”? I don’t envy your immediate future and it’s decisions :), but I am so excited to meet Baby Boy C and know without a doubt that you will continue to be an amazing mom! Love you, Jen
P.S. Take all with a grain of salt…My mantra is “God bless drugs.” You look beautiful, by the way!
You do look beautiful! I’m praying God will help you make the right choice at the right time. I don’t think it’s possible to decide for sure ahead of time, anyway. I went for natural childbirth, but every delivery is unique. How could anyone make that decision but you, with God’s help! I did hate those shakes afterward, too! I am confident that you’ll do great!
Linni….I am just seeing this for the 1st time…how could I not post? I am SO passionate about natural childbirth…he he. And you know I am going to agree wholeheartedly with Aron!
But besides being a doula, I can say first hand, after having BOTH my babies at home, medication free – that it is worth it. And Jonathan was NO easy labor. 16 hours of horrible back labor was excruciating! I didn’t have the urge to push and it wasn’t what I dreamed it would be…but I know the benefits of not medicating during labor and I was ahppy nonetheless. With Judah – he came in a little less than 5 hours, born in the water with hardly any back pain at all! It was a night and day experience. Was I a little scared his birth would be like Jon’s? Of course!! But Jonathan “paved the way” for Judah and it was SO much easier the 2nd time around! Just keep in the forefront of your mind – that you were created to do this and that God is your biggest help in time of ‘pain and trouble’….so DO NOT FEAR! Fear is your worst enemy. The pain isn’t going to last but a short while! I believe it is worth it in the long run. And if you did it before, you can surely do it again!
I love you and am SO excited for you! I will be praying for you (preggo praying is my specialty!) Call me if you ever want the juicier details! LOL!
love you!
PS: You look STUNNING! When I got your Christmas pic (as beautiful as irt was) I was like…aww..no belly shot! LOL! You look incredible! You do preggo well!
Linni you look so beautiful! Love the belly shot!!!
I think it’s definately a matter to put to God, asking for wisdom and peace. I also think you can do the natural thing if you desire to! The 2nd time around (although all births differ obviously:) seems easier for most since the first one stretches us out… in the end a health baby and mama is the goal, so if you’re up for it why not go for a natural birth but be flexible and open to whatever needs to happen for baby to be alright. Just my thought but as you know, there’s so much advice and opinions out there and in the end you and Adam have to decide what is right for you!! Praying for you, baby, and these last weeks of pregnancy! love ya~
Just catching up on your blog. I know you already have a lot of comments and birth stories, but I thought I would share my epidural experience.I am usually all for the all-natural way, BUT… I went into labor hoping for a natural birth– meaning I wanted to go for it, but giving myself grace (in the form of the possibility of drugs) if it didn’t work out, which it didn’t. I had a long slow back labor, not progressing. After Pitocin, still no progress but then the doctor broke my water, and things way intensified— the worst 3 hours of my life to date. I was exhausted and unbelievably, still no progress, I was only 6 cm (I would have sworn that nurse was lying!) and told it could still be hours. I was thinking at that point that I wanted my baby (out of my body) anyway I could get her, whether with drugs or surgery, you still end up with your baby. I got an epidural, and it relaxed me enough that, I think, that is what got McKenzie to turn, and she was out 27 minutes later. I could still feel the contractions but was not in such a horrible state– I think my birth experience and the time of actually pushing was much better because of the epidural. My only regret is that I waited as long as I did. That anesthesiologist became my favorite person(which insulted Nathan a bit, since he was there massaging my back the whole time). I hope for another child, and plan to go into labor again like I did the first– hoping for a natural birth, but very open to an epidural.