Kiss Your Miracle

This past Saturday Adam’s cousin and her husband renewed their marriage vows. The ceremony was scheduled for 11am on a beach about two hours away. I was happy for them, but to be honest, not really looking forward to the day myself. I love hopping in the car and heading out of town, but now that we have a baby an all day excursion is complicated.

After an extensive packing session on Saturday morning, we left in the Forrester, loaded down with everything we might need for the day. I then spent the next hour and forty-minutes doing anything I could think of to keep Skylar calm in her car seat. I knew I was in trouble when I sacrificed my purse for her to play with just ten minutes into the trip. Bored with everything, she fussed on and off no matter what I did. Fifteen minutes before we arrived, she fell asleep. “Keep going,” I whispered to Adam, who obediently drove past the ceremony site to give Sky a few extra minutes of naptime. Once we arrived things actually went well. Sky’s catnap gave her the energy she needed to be cute and happy for the afternoon. She loved the beach and at the reception she basically crawled nonstop, fascinated with everything, until it was time for us to leave.

At the end of the day we got in the car to make the two-hour drive back to Ocala, swinging through a Starbucks as we left town. Ten minutes into the trip Sky was asleep. Adam’s eyes were on the road and Feist sang to us through the stereo. The late afternoon sun sparkled on the trees and shadows traced their way across Skylar’s smooth white skin. I sipped my coffee, studying her face. It’s crazy to me, but even after infertility, I can get so wrapped up in the work part of being a mom that I almost forget to enjoy the experience. Moments of bliss seem to happen right after chaotic ones, when I least expect them. If I’m not careful I might miss them completely. So as we drove along that day I closed my eyes for a second and acknowledged to myself that yes, this is one of those of moments I wouldn’t change at all.

As Christians we’re often told that life is about joy, not happiness. Joy is possible even in the darkest times when you rely on God for strength. And that’s true. But there’s something to be said for happiness, when you’re so taken with the moment – how you feel, the way things look and smell, the people near you – that you forget your stress for a while. These moments can be rare. I hope I’m never beyond the ability to pay attention to them when they come.