Challenge March 11, 2010
“He (God) settles the childless woman in her home as a happy mother of children. Praise the Lord.” I came across this verse the other day in the Bible (Psalm 113:9) and felt myself come to a stop. I haven’t read Psalm 113 in a while, and I couldn’t help but remember how that particular verse struck me during our infertility. I’d usually sit there wondering, what about me, God? Will this apply to me someday?
It turns out God did have babies planned for me, but I still think of infertility when I read the verse. I can’t help but wonder about my friends, the ones still waiting, unsure if God has children in store for them as well. Many couples who struggle with infertility go on to get pregnant or adopt children and become happy parents that way. But it doesn’t happen for everyone. If a couple dealing with infertility gets to a place where they feel settled in their lives as a family of two, that’s one thing. But what about those who continue to wait painfully year after year?
Most Christians would probably say this verse is mainly about God’s character. He is gracious and giving and takes care of His people. It’s a principal, not a promise. And I would agree with that interpretation. But that doesn’t mean the verse is easy for an infertile woman to read. It definitely wasn’t for me. The Bible refers to itself as a sword – a truth that works on many levels. Sometimes the emotions it brings out are piercing, and the only way I know to respond to that pain is with prayer. I used to pray for myself, that God would help me deal with the feeling of being forgotten, and that He would “remember” me the way He remembered Sarah, Hannah, Leah, Rachel, Rebecca, Elizabeth, and many other women of the Bible. Now I pray the same words for my friends.
This morning God added a new dimension to this verse for me. The word “happy” practically jumped off the page into my face. Now that God has answered my prayer and made me a mother, can I honestly say I’ve responded with joy? Not just at first, but now, in the day-to-day reality of life with two little kids? Am I happy? Or am I just on to the next thing I wish I could change? The verse is about God, but it’s also a challenge to me and the perspective I choose every day.
God has settled this childless women in a home as a happy mother of children. I can say there is truth in this verse. I understand it. I am childess, grandchildless. I am very happy, blessed and don’t feel like I am incomplete or unfullfilled in any way. I am as happy as any mother but perhaps in different ways. It has taken a long time to get to this place of contentment with all the feelings of disappointment, anger, unjustness, bitterness, saddness and pain along the way. We all have choices and how we handle the life God puts in front of us is a choice. I choose to believe Jeremiah 29:11. I choose to believe that God’s ways are better than my ways and I choose to live in the tent upon the hill He has chosen to give me. I pray for the ladies who are fighting the daily pain of infertility and tell them hold fast believing God is enough. He has proves Himself everyday. I won’t tell you the path is easy, it’s not. I will tell you that God gives grace in measure and some days His grace is needed by the mountain full. Today, Psalm 113:9 rings true. He provides a very special kind of happiness for those of us who are childless. This road is difficult and full of deep heart pain. Choose to believe GOD IS ENOUGH. He will not forsake you.
childless & praying – You are an inspiration!
Wise words from you and from Childless & Praying. Keep praying for those of us still walking that path. Some days, reading that verse is equal parts hope and pain. But it’s true: those days God gives grace by the mountain-full if we’ll let him.
it’s a great reminder to remember the things God has done and not just move right on to the next thing.. thanks for it. i want to hear Sky talk.