Kiss Your Miracle

Some women believe birth is a beautiful experience unlike anything else, and I would agree with that statement. But before birth comes labor. My Grandma Johnson used to say, “Labor is a trip to hell and back,” and though I might not have phrased it quite the way she did, I would agree with that statement as well. I can’t say there was much I enjoyed about the labor process. But here’s the thing: my entire labor – from 1cm to delivery – took just three hours. Three hours! How many women get to have that experience with an induction? Though I’d been hoping to go into labor on my own, God gave me the next best thing, and I have no disappointment over it whatsoever.

Yes, the labor was rough. I very quickly reached the point where no position or back rub or word of encouragement helped. I didn’t have time for an epidural. I remember telling Adam at one point, “I can’t do this. I can’t do this,” to which he replied, “You’re doing great.” During transition the pain felt crazy and out of control. But then, after ten minutes of pushing on my side, our son was born. And the birth – the birth! There is nothing I would change about that moment. The midwife placed our Micah Nathan on my chest and tears rolled down my face. I’ve never felt such an intense combination of relief and joy in my life. Sky’s birth was a bit traumatic and scary. I don’t really remember the first hour of her life. But Micah’s birth was just the opposite. I remember his cry, Adam’s face, even the happy chatter of the nurses as they weighed the baby and cleaned him up.

We are home now, and I’m grateful to be done with the pregnancy, the labor, and even our stay at the hospital (though I definitely miss those baby nurses at midnight!). I’m currently tired and overwhelmed. But underneath the exhaustion is a sense of awe at God’s hand of blessing on my family. At 4am this morning I was walking around our living room with a wide-awake Micah and my eyes settled on a picture of my parents. Adam and I both think this baby looks like my side of the family. I see my dad in his sweet little face. I don’t know why God took my dad to heaven when He did. Our grief is still sharp. But Micah Nathan is here now too, reminding us that when God allows pain, He offers comfort as well.

“I will comfort those who mourn, bringing words of praise to their lips” – Isaiah 57:18b-19a